Promise
by DarkCatofHeaven
Summary: The first and last time that Katniss didn't keep her promise to Prim.


It didn't start out as a lie. When I told Prim that I'd try to win for her, I meant with every fiber of my being. Even now as I contemplate on my future plans, I still wish that I could keep that promise. I know that this promise is the most important one that I've ever given. I've never broken a promise to Prim, and I know that she'll never forgive me for not keeping this one.

There are five of us left now. At first, I had planned to let Rue win instead of me. I knew that I couldn't kill someone that reminded me so much of my baby sister. After her death, I felt relieved that I could once again keep my promise.

**Everything changed when I partnered up with Peeta**.

I tried to distance myself from him. I told myself that everything he said or did was strictly for the camera, but then he got under my skin. Within our short time together, he had made me _happy_. Well, the happiest I could be in our situation. I knew then that just like Rue, I couldn't kill Peeta. I didn't believe for one second that we could both leave the games together. I just knew that this was one of the Game makers' tricks.

I couldn't be the person to destroy the last pure soul on this earth. Peeta was still kind and honorable, even with this detestable game going on. He was the boy with the bread and I owed him my life for helping me keep Prim alive. I could finally repay him back.

I'll be honest, I don't love Peeta. I admire and care for him more than I normally do for a person. My feelings are all over the place, but I don't know him like he knows me. I know small facts that I've learned over the years, like he was on the wrestling team and he helped out others like me. I know that if I had an opportunity to get to know him, then I could fall in love with him easily. But, I won't have that chance.

Gale would call me stupid if he knew my plans. He'd yell at me and throw things in every direction.

"_You're better than him! You deserve to live more_!" he would say at the top of his lungs.

I know that whatever he would say would be a lie. Nobody liked me, they tolerated me to get game but that's it. Peeta was a different story, he made everyone smile and laugh. He _cared_ while I couldn't. I was so caught up in making sure that my family survived that I couldn't spare a glance at anybody else. Peeta would give the shirt off his back to the children that wore rags to school.

I hadn't forgotten my family. I know that without me, they'll die. I've already taken care of that fact.

Flashback:

_I ran my fingers through Peeta's curly hair. We had just finished the lamb stew and we had decided to rest for the night. _

"_Do you think about what will happen after the games?" he asked suddenly._

_I notice that he doesn't mention who will win. "Not really. I'm too concerned about our next meal." I reply honestly._

"_I wish I could see our district one last time." Peeta sighs._

"_Who says you won't?" I ask innocently._

_Peeta frowns at me. "I don't think the odds will allow me. I'm sure that in the end, Cato will finish me off."_

_I scowl and cuddle closer to him. "Don't doubt yourself Peeta. You're smarter and stronger then him."_

_Peeta pulls me closer to his side. "I just don't want anything happen to you."_

_I look into his eyes and I automatically know that he isn't lying, he means this. "Will you promise me something?" I whisper softly._

_Peeta nods quickly, wanting to please me._

"_If something happens to me…Will you take care of my family?" I beg. I feel tears build up behind my eyes._

_Peeta's grip on my body tightens. "Nothing will happen to you Katniss."_

_I smile softly and caress the side of his face that's turned towards me. "There is no guarantee that Cato won't kill me first. I just need to know that Prim will be taken care of if I don't return."_

_Peeta remains silent and the cave is filled with the sound of rain from outside. I need to hear him say that he'll take care of Prim. I can't depart this world without proof that my most treasured person will be safe from hunger and sickness._

"_I'll do the same for you." I tell him._

"_Will you?" Peeta asks, sounding hopeful._

_After everything that Peeta has told him, I know that his family has it hard too. He wouldn't pass up the chance that his family could have a better life filled with fresh bread._

"_Fine. I promise that if something happens, I'll take care of your family like they're my own. I'll have you know that I have great faith that we'll both make it." Peeta replied slowly._

_As a reward, I moved to straddle Peeta. I pulled his face closer to mine and kissed him deeply. This was the first kiss that I've given Peeta that wasn't for the cameras. Peeta pulls me closer as he responds to me. I lick his lower lip and he opens his mouth as my tongue enters and explores every inch of his sweet mouth._

_I realize that I'll miss kissing him. Every kiss sparks something inside of me. It feels like I'm filled with a thousand candles that are on fire. With every new kiss, I find that I want more. It gets harder for me to stop our short moments. _

_Peeta moves his hand to cup one of my breasts and I moan as I end our kiss. Peeta stops and returns to holding me, thinking that I want to end this. Do I? I plan to die in a few days. I'm still a virgin and I don't mind dying one, but I want to give Peeta something to remember me by. I don't want to be the girl on fire to him. I don't want to be the starving girl in the rain. I want to be Katniss._

_I pull the sleeping bag over to us and climb in, inviting Peeta to do the same. He complies and soon our bodies are hidden from everyone._

_I kiss Peeta's cheek and whisper quietly in his ear. "Be quiet."_

_Peeta looks confused but doesn't say anything in return. I place my hands underneath his shirt and run my hands down his stomach and sides. Peeta's hand reaches up to grasp mine as I move downwards._

"_What are you doing?" he questions softly._

_I don't answer with words, instead I rub his groin. Peeta's face changes into a look of pleasure. I unzip his jeans and kiss him again. I feel Peeta's hand grasp my body through my clothes. I unzip my pants and move his hand underneath my shirt. I moan as Peeta begins to caress my breasts. He moves my bra out of the way and begins to circle my nipples with his thumbs. I muffle my moan against his shoulder._

_Peeta moves one of his hands down to rub me through the soft material of my underwear. I return my hands to touch his….hard bulge through his boxers._

"_Are you sure?" he whispers "We can stop now. If we continue….I'm not sure if I'll be able to stop."_

_Again, I use actions to answer. I pull his boxers down and I caress him with both of my hands. Peeta groans but tries to keep quiet. I wish that we had more time, that we weren't being filmed, but most of all I wished that I could have another chance to actually see him. I push these thoughts aside as Peeta kisses me. _

_Peeta pulls my underwear down to my knees and I begin to rub myself against his groin. Peeta's hands push me against his hard on and I groan at the direct contact. I slide him inside me and I pause as I hit a barrier. I continue to lower myself and a sharp pain hits and I stop to let my body adjust. As soon as the pain dulls, I cup his balls and slowly move up and down his length. Peeta's fingers dig into my skin as he squeezes his eyes shut._

_I stop and ask. "Did I hurt you?"_

_Peeta shakes his head. "Please! For the love of God, please don't stop!"_

_I blush but begin my slow pace again. I begin to quicken the pace when Peeta moves to touch me…down there. He rubs his fingers inside me which sends chills up my spine. I cry into Peeta's shirt when he hits a sensitive spot. _

"_I'm almost done." Peeta struggles to tell me. "Do you want me to…to pull out?"_

_I look into his eyes as I move quicker. He's worried that I might get pregnant from this encounter. I shake my head and Peeta smiles. I kiss Peeta with all the emotions I have in me as I massage his balls with my free hand. Peeta crushed my head to closer to his as he deepens the kiss. I moan into his mouth as he comes inside me._

_Peeta gasps for air as he clings to me. "You didn't?"_

_I shake my head but smile. "Next time?"_

_Peeta grins and nods as he kisses me once more. Peeta wraps his arms around me and he drifts off to sleep. I'll miss this the most, I realize with sadness. I close my eyes and try not to think of tomorrow. I don't wake up till we hear the cannon signaling Thresh's demise._

End of Flashback

Now we're standing together. We just learned that only one would come out. I knew it. Peeta is bleeding profusely and sits down on the soft grass.

"Make it swift, like you did with Cato." He begs.

A million thoughts race through my mind as I kneel beside him. He stares at me helplessly. I have to do this before I coward out. My mind drifts to Prim and I almost reach for my bow and arrow. I hope she knows that if I came home without Peeta that I wouldn't be really me. I want her to remember me as I was and not as the heartless killer.

I lean close and frown when he flinches. I caress his cheek. "If I could have loved anyone, it would've been you. Close your eyes. I promise that this will be quick."

He complies and takes a deep breathe. I reach into my pocket and pull out the Nightlock berries. I always wondered what they tasted like, they always looked so sweet.

I swallow them all and grasp Peeta's hand. He opens his eyes and sees the juice on the corners of my mouth. His eyes widen and he shouts, but I can't hear what he says.

"Tel-l Prim th-hat I love her. She mean-nt everything to me." I choke out

I wanted to say more. I knew that I could spend hours telling him what to tell her and it would never amount to even a sliver of how I truly felt when it came to her. She was all that mattered, except for…him. I close my eyes. _I was sooo tired; it felt like I hadn't slept in a year_. My last thought was that the berries were _really tart_.


End file.
